It's not that I've never realized that I have certain issues and or problems, it's just that I don't have a "outlet" so to speak. Don't get me wrong I have my lovely Honey, and about 2 good friends that I can share just about anything with, but besides GOD, it's just me.
I started my blog because after I seen my 1st plus size fashion blog ever, it was just an natural feeling for me to do likewise. Not that my mind doesn't expand, but I didn't even think stuff like this exist. To be perfectly honest, blogging has changed my life. Yeah, it's that deep.
To be inspired by so many beautiful women who have showed me that BEAUTY comes in all shapes and sizes, has been a big deal to me. Don't get me wrong, I do think highly of myself and how I look, and I'm not throwing a pity party because I'M FAT ♥..I'm just saying, something has got to give.
Things that I ponder include;
-I'm bi-polar; I don't really think I can help it though. I don't know if it's just my personality, but I don't like it.
-I'm not 100% sure about my career path. At times, I am, and I'm soooo excited that I can't sleep, then other times it's me questioning God about what i'm suppose to do with this life of mine.
-Insecurites has began to come, little by little, but they're there. Sometimes I'm scared to sit in a chair or on a bed because I don't wanna break it. I try to wear 3/4 length sleeves so ppl can't see my arms (this just happened..like overnight). I never wear shorts
- I love my Honey with my all, and I wouldn't mind spending a lot of my life with him, but that's not the same as spending your life with someone. I guess i'm scared of saying "I DO", then coming across problems in the future or falling out of love. He is the greatest and i'm soooo in love with him, but is this what I really want?
-Why can't I push myself more or find the motivation to do the right things and go down the right path to be more healthy? It's really all I think about. I often dream about it to, the day that i'm tons of pounds lighter and not worrying about buying something because it's too clingy.
I'm sorry my thoughts are all over the place, and I don't really care if anyone reads this (this is probably the most i've talked on my entire blog..LOL) this was just a vent session for me, and now I feel a little better..IDK...Have Blessed evenings everyone!
F.Y.I....I cried the entire time I wrote this..just thought I would share.
Below: Took this pics when I went to my baby sister Dalice's induction into the National Junior Honor Society. Enjoy!
|My baby sister Dalice. I dressed her and did her makeup, not to much, she's only 12!!|